Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize