Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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