you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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