i was born a porn star she said
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize