Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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