she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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