sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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