Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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