Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize