It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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