Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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