i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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