Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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