I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
two words: eviction party
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize