who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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