Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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