I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
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I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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