Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize