the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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