i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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