He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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