I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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