you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sober January is a disaster.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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