My nipple is on Facebook.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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