i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize