were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Im part way to drunk.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize