Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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