I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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