I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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