He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
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I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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