i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize