He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize