Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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