I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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