WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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