Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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