I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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