wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize