he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize