dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize