I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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