he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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