my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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