is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I want is dick and wine.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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