I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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