I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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