I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize