): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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