I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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