I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize